I did it again. I have spread myself too thin and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with projects. One of the joys of being a creative person is that ideas can come very easily, and often many at once. My challenge in the last couple of years has been to learn to practice discernment and allow some ideas to wait instead of pouncing on all of them. Lately, I’ve slipped up a bit in this and have been learning, again, how to let go and focus on a small number of things at a time. It’s a painful lesson, and one that I know I will have to be reminded of again and again before it becomes easy.
This morning, I felt myself getting really stressed out about all of the stuff I have coming up in the next few weeks. I’ll be traveling and playing music throughout July, driving up and down the East coast. I’ve never spent more than a week at a time traveling for shows and I’m both nervous and excited about the trip. I’ve also been planning a women’s retreat in August, writing and posting new songs, working on an eBook and coaching a few clients. As all of these things stacked up in my mind, I felt my breathing get shallow and my heart rate speed up. It all seemed like too much. At that point, I realized how long it had been since I posted here. For a moment, I felt guilty about neglecting the website, because it was yet another thing on my climbing stack of “Things You Should Do.” But then I remembered why I like to write here in the first place.
When I become swamped with projects, the first thing to go is usually this blog. The irony of it is that writing, especially the way I write here, is my way of resting. Through writing this blog, I step back and become clear, I move inward and explore my needs and desires, and I feel more centered and able to handle everything. Why is the very thing that can help me one of the first things I forget to do, or stop prioritizing?
I need to post here, to reflect and connect with others, and to see everything laid out in front of me, instead of as a nebulous cloud of Overwhelm in my head (where it seems so much scarier.) Posting here is a gift to myself, and not just another thing I’m supposed to do. I come here, and my mind is able to rest for a little while. That’s something I’ll try to remember more often.