I have done the Word of the Year thing for several years now, instead of resolutions. I’ve really benefitted from it. As much as I try not to be too “woo-woo” about it, I often feel as though the word chooses me and not the other way ’round. This time, I especially feel that way, because I didn’t enjoy the feeling that came over me when this word popped up.
I resisted this. I’m still resisting it. A part of me is tugging the blanket over my head and saying, “La, la, la, I can’t hear you” to this word.
But then I sit and wonder what that’s about. Why would I push back? Talking with a friend of mine over coffee yesterday morning, I realized what was making me nervous about it:
Drive feels like a “business” term.
I’ve heard so much corporate lingo and self-improvement stuff talk about having “drive & initiative” that my hackles went up at this word. I instantly picture some dude in a suit in front of a PowerPoint presentation when I hear it. I don’t think of myself in that way at all, and can’t imagine fitting in to that kind of environment, so I wonder if my mind is making fun of me by choosing this.
Drive implies travel, velocity.
I have this fear of being swept up in something and taken away from a life I find quite pleasant. This word evokes a feeling in me of losing control — which is interesting, because wouldn’t I be the one doing the driving? I worry about moving too fast, things going further than I am ready for.
Drive is an aggressive word.
Every other word I’ve had in the five years I’ve been doing this has been sweet, in a way. Nourish, Bare, Tend, etc… these are words that feel kind and calm, these are words that will gently usher in a new stage of life. Drive is active, it is powerful, it is telling me to DO something. It is telling me that not only is change coming, but that I will be the instigator and creator of it. That shit is scary, y’all.
I think this year will be a time for me to re-frame how I feel about certain concepts. The word “drive” is something I would like to own as a part of my identity, embracing its positive connotations rather than leaning on the familiar negative ones. How can I reconcile these initial gut reactions and make it work for me?
- Drive comes from passion. I have that in spades. Acting from a place of passion means that I am excited about things I do, and can lead and create with energy.
- Drive gets things from one place to another – that inner impulse will help me to follow through and finish projects.
- Someone who is driven doesn’t stop when they fail. I will use my failures to learn and grow and keep moving.
This word is fiery. It’s exciting, it’s catching, it creates positive change. All things I’m on board with.
So, even though I’m scared, and even though I still feel some resistance, I am getting in this car.
Do you have a Word of the Year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!